Who Is God? The God You Believe You Deserve

Encountering the God who comes for you.

We have asked who God is, but beneath that question is a more unsettling one: Who do you believe God is?

Because the God you believe in is often shaped by the self you carry, we began with the question, "Who Am I?" Now we meet at the intersection of God and self, where God awaits discovery anew.

Let's take a look at this intersection...

If you believe you are unworthy, God will feel distant.

If you believe you are a problem, God will feel disappointed.

If you believe you must perform, God will feel demanding.

If you believe you are beloved, God will feel near.

This is not because God changes. It is because our sight does.

Who is God with the Man Among the Tombs

In Mark 5, a man possessed runs toward Jesus from the tombs. He is naked. Bound. Bruised. Living among death, and before healing, before restoration, before freedom, he knows who Jesus is.

“What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God?”

The broken man recognizes divinity before the crowd does.

Sit with that.

The one who lives among tombs sees clearly. Why? Because when you have nothing left to defend, you recognize rescue. Jesus does not debate him; He does not recoil. He steps onto that shore intentionally.

God goes where chains are loudest.

And here is the transformation:

The man believed he was possessed. Jesus called him by name.

The man believed he belonged in tombs. Jesus sent him home.

The man believed he was unclean. Jesus restored him publicly.

Who he believed himself to be had dictated the world he inhabited. Jesus rewrote it.

The Sight Beneath the Surface

Earlier this month, we reflected on Bartimaeus asking to see. Now we go deeper. The Gerasene man already sees. He sees Jesus clearly, while still bound. This is what we often miss. You may already know who God is, but you may not yet know who you are to God. Until that shifts, your encounter remains partial. Theology alone will not free you; encounter will.

Incarnation Is Not Information

John O’Donnell writes:

“The love between Jesus and the Father is the love which Jesus offers us and into which he wants to incorporate us.”

Incorporate; not advise, supervise, or observe - Incorporate.

The Incarnation means this: God does not stand outside your humanity evaluating it. God enters it.

James Hanvey reminds us that God’s self-communication in Christ is total, with nothing withheld. If God has united Himself to humanity in Jesus, and you share that humanity, then divine life is not somewhere else. It is nearer than your breath. The only barrier left is what you believe about yourself.

A Startling Encounter

There was a time in my life when I believed God was disappointed in me - not angry, just weary, and so I prayed cautiously. I approached gently, almost apologetically. Until one quiet evening in prayer, I sensed something different: Not correction or evaluation, but delight.

It startled me.

God was not tolerating me; God was enjoying me. That shift rearranged my spiritual life because when you believe you are beloved, God stops feeling distant and communion begins.

The Transformative Question

Who are you, really?

Are you the one who lives in tombs?

Are you the one who must earn belonging?

Are you the one who performs holiness?

Or are you the one God stepped ashore for?

The God you encounter will reflect the self you believe yourself to be. If you believe you are beyond redemption, God will feel unreachable. If you believe you are beloved, God will feel near. Transformation begins here at these intersections, where your awareness meets God's, and from there, our awareness shifts.

Embodied Ending

Stand up. Place your feet firmly on the ground. Imagine Jesus stepping onto your shore.

Not to inspect you.

Not to shame you.

But to call you by name.

Breathe in. Say silently: “I am not what binds me.”

Breathe out. Say silently: “I am the one God comes for.”

Stay there.

Let the chains loosen.

Let Love speak; see who God longs for you to meet in God and in you.

From the garden within me to the garden within you, where God awaits,

Kimi